Premium Rush looks awful...

On-premium-Rush-Set-joseph-gordon-levitt-15254905-500-419Admittedly I am not the target demo for Premium Rush.

I imagine that this movie is intended to teenage girls to go flocking to see in droves, perhaps dragging their boyfriend in tow.

And I also realize that it was probably one of those movies that actors are making because they need a paycheck that in a normal market would have never seen the light of day.

But then The Dark Knight Rises was as big a success as the world thought it was going it be…

And being huge has coattails-er- cape, as the case may be…

And solidly in the center of this cape of success, perhaps resting underneath a banner reading “Strike while the iron is hot” sits this gem of a movie just waiting to be unleashed upon an unsuspecting movie going public….

My friends, I give you the trailer for Premium Rush, the pile of dog shit so steaming a 19th century town could have been run off of it.


Things that make you go ugh…

 

Wow.

Too often, the internet gets crammed chock full of hyperbolic statements about one’s opinion of the movie/song/piece/any other work that required any sort of talent or effort to create is being discussed.

Lots of callings out for the more compelling videos or rape, murder, and other vile acts that apparently have more watchability than a big budget Hollywood movie with a crew including the best writers, cinematographers, and directors money could buy…clockwork

And a lot of that is bullshit.

Of course I would watch this movie instead of watching my mother be murdered by wild dogs…

Or my wife getting a train run on her by the entire starting Offensive Line for your Tampa Bay Buccaneers…

But that’s it…

Premium-Rush-poster-60723_650x400The idea of being forced to watch my mother be murdered or my wife be ravaged would be the only things that could get me to watch this god awful movie.

Not Nightwing working for UPS.

Not my love for dogshit action movies with shitty tag lines.

Not even all the love I hold for Quicksilver, Rad, and Gleaming the Cube (I know it’s skateboards but it’s the same shit in the end, no?) in my heart would get me to watch this latest shit sandwich Hollywood has chosen to make instead of something original, edgy, and new.

(Now watch… All this mouth running and it turns out the movie is amazing, redefines the action genre, wins JGL an Oscar… I doubt it but the odds are now out there…)

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