For years now there has been a steady drumbeat by the groundlings insisting that Hollywood either has run out of good, original ideas for movies or they really do have a genuine belief that the American people are really just a bunch of knuckle dragging morons willing to have their intelligence insulted to the tune of ten bucks a head (plus snacks).
But I have always given these men the benefit of the doubt (granted, giving the men who passed on releasing The Passion of the Christ but thought that having Steve Martin rape the comedic legacy of Peter Sellers not once but twice would be a great idea is not the easiest position to be in), allowing myself to be more excited about the projects that they actually get right (like Star Trek) than upset about the projects they get wrong (like Wolverine, Terminator: Salvation, Land of the Lost).
But then I read this headline and so fucking help me... if this movie gets made I am going to swear off movies forever!!!
"John Stamos plotting a big screen Full House reboot."
To be fair, nothing has been green lit yet, so there is still hope for the world. But the fact that someone is actually reporting on it (which, ahem, would be me) means that there is a chance that somewhere a studio executive who noticed just how much fucking money Paul Blart: Mall Cop managed to shit out just might get horny about the idea of bring back to life the adventures of clean cut Danny Tanner, living cartoon Joey Gladstone, and bad boy rocker Jessie Katsopolis.
Now here is the story: a source close to John Stamos is reporting to whoever will listen that the former Full House star has been thinking about getting the ball rolling on a reboot to the 80's family sitcom. Stamos is in fact thinking about the project so much that he has even cast it in his head. Stoner favorite James Franco (in Stamos's diluted mind) would be cast as the mulleted Jessie Katsopolis. Steve Carrell (who has shown a willingness to gamble his career on mindless family comedies) would be cast as straight laced Danny Tanner and Tracy Morgan would be cast as a funnier (and blacker) Joey Gladstone.
There has been no word as of yet as to if Stamos has taken his idea to anyone, let alone is there are any production companies trying to develop the idea, so there is still hope. But with Will Ferrell running away from Sleestaks two weeks after Cap'n Kirk and Spock saved the Earth from eminent destruction from some pissed off alien species, the willingness of Hollywood to gamble on the American people's willingness to allow their sentimentality of a childhood favorite to overrule their better judgment in paying hard earned money to go see movies based on bad television programs that we grew up on cannot be overlooked (of course I say this now, but when some film company announces that they have just signed Kimbo Slice to play BA Baracus I will do mule kicks in excitement).