George Lucas to take more money from fans...

star wars wallpaper 5A well sourced leak came out on Tuesday sending a world full of Star Wars fans into the cold sweats usually reserved for relapsing junkies.

Sources close to George Lucas have indicated that the bearded violator of my beloved childhood memories has expressed real interest in re-re-re-releasing the two sets of Star Wars trilogies (the original Holy Trilogy and the three “meh” prequels) to theaters in 3D.

TPM_fight_smallThe movies are set to begin being released in early 2012, starting with the Episode One: The Phantom Menace, setting off a yearly event until all six films of the classic sci-fi epic have been redone in stunning eye popping 3D (to the tune of $15.00 a head to boot).

Sources close to Lucas stated that since having seen Avatar, he is more convinced than ever that the 3D technology is now finally ready for Star Wars.

A Million Scream voices…

Between you and me, I don’t know one Star Wars fan looking forward to seeing these films in 3D.

And for good reason… (Sadly it isn’t because Star Wars fans collectively have had enough with this Kermit the Frog sounding cocksucker continuing to squeeze money out of them by releasing the same fucking movies.)


If the recent rush by film companies to try and embrace the new trend of 3D technology (cough, cough… cause the ticket is more expensive, thus raising the totals at the gate… cough, cough) has taught us anything, it is that movies not originally intended to be seen in 3D that are then converted to 3D STINK!!!!!

It seemed as though after Avatar raked in over a billion plus dollars, all the film companies figured that they would look to see if they had any other “big budget” film they could release as a 3D feature (thus allowing them to charge a higher ticket price).

But this is a bad idea.

Word of mouth hurt the releases of rather watchable films- such as the 2010 remake of Clash of the Titans and Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland- do to complaints about blurry battle sequences and effect driven scenes due to the conversion process.

…and were silenced instantly…

star-wars-george-lucasI know my objections will go unnoticed.

Hell, even as much as most fans of the Holy Saga may very well agree with everything I have said, there is still going to be a small part of them (as there is in me) that tingles at the idea of once again sitting in a theater and having those bombastic horns whisk us off back to a world of our childhood.

There is no stopping the rerelease of these films nor is there the ability to halt the conversion into 3D (no more than there was in changing back to the original scene in Star Wars where Han Solo shoots Greedo in cold blood).  And when they are unleashed upon the world, they will do so in front of throngs of costumed loyalists (many of which will be bringing along their children seeing the films for the first time n a big screen), eager to see it one more time.

And I will be among them.

I won’t deny that.

But I will be motherfuckering George Lucas the whole time… no doubt about that.


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