Pound on my muffin...

choc_muffinLadies and gentlemen…

It is a shame that this song has been released so early in the year*.

Not because it will be forgotten about by the time the Grammies roll around, but because upon hearing it every artist the world over will throw their pens and instruments into the trash as all the art that this year would have been able to inspire was crapped out in one song.

My friends I give you Shira and her hit club banger “Pound on my Muffin”…


It’s odd… the song should be a hit.

The beat is good.

The lyrics are solid enough.

muffin-daddy

Somehow, this is all that Rebecca Black's fault.

                          

If Nicki Minaj dropped this joint, it would be the hotness. White girls from sea to shining sea would be raising their glasses and screaming that hook at one another while they danced in a circle. Dunkin Donuts would have bought the rights to the song and crafted an entire marketing campaign around their new line of Dunk-fins. Some pop punk band was going to go all edgy on the masses and leak out a cover of thieww-undiess song that their fans would be stunned to discover they liked…

But none of this is going to happen…

It’s sung by what are at best a very Jewy 4 and a pack of the least sassy ghetto broads ever captured on camera.

It manages to make women dancing in their underwear while singing about how they won’t put out unless you have a big dick and enough weed to make them forget the disappointment in their father’s eyes completely unsexy in any way.

And, perhaps the worst part of all…

 

 

Not one muffin in this video…

cuppies

Just a giant inedible cupcake (ironically enough intended to represent the equally inedible vagina of the song’s rhyme slinger).

*I understand that this song was released on 12/25/11 but work with me folks…

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