Jersey Shore's Ronnie sings a song poorly...

ronnie-magro-ortiz-arrestedI’m sure in those moments before you close your eyes, you have found yourself wondering exaqctly how Ronnie, from The Jersey Shore, was going to make ends meet once the sun finally sets on America’s favorite Italian stereotypes.

And now we finally have an answer…

It WON’T be in music.

 

For some reason, the juiced up gorilla in the house felt the world was going to need him to drop a club banger.

And here it is…

Check out Ronnie’s song… “How the fuck we getting’ home?”…


Beat that beat up.. please... for the love of God...

Makes you wish you could unhear it, right???

It is awful on levels that awful had not previously been imagined. That air raid siren beat, the sing song word vomit passing for MCing in this mess, and- perhaps the most inexplicable part- a bridge sung by the ‘roided out Guido himself which he somehow managed to get way off key even with the blatant auto-tuning

ronnie-jersey-shore

Now in fairness, it’s not Ronnie’s song so much as someone thought it would be a great idea to have this goon speak-sing over a frantic club beat (which I am positive Ronnie hears in his head at all times, which might explain why he is such a volatile drunk). And, while I am over here dry heaving to this mess my wife has been twirling glow sticks so it must have some club cred.

Besides, can’t blame the guy for giving it a go. The end of this Jersey Shore rainbow is within site... Snooki's pregnant, Pauly D is proving there isn't life after Jersey, and I’m sure the Situation won’t be the last one to take those twelve steps to a better tomorrow...

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