Television

Shows about fat girls are like mopeds....

more-to-love-logoBelieve me

I know that this means the end for our society.  I know that by not only admitting that I like this show, but that by going as far as recommending- nay, demanding- that everyone reading these words stop for just one second and go make sure that their DVRs are set to whatever your Fox affiliate is and making sure that you are recording Tuesday nights are nine, I am knowingly condemning our nation into generations of decline.  I know all this and I am still going to demand that you do so right now.  I'll wait...

 

The ""Lucky" bachlor, Luke ConleyThe show is called More to Love, and the idea behind it is a tired one to be sure.  Fifteen unlucky in love bachelorettes battle with one another for the favor of one lucky stud bachelor, ending in him choosing one to "marry".  Sex, fighting, crying, and a bunch of wound up broads trying too hard is a sure fired recipe for good summer train wreck television as far as I am concerned.

 

But this time, FOX has a different twist on the concept.  No doubt from having noticed the mad success of NBC's The Biggest Loser, FOX had the brilliance to cast fifteen (started out at twenty, but five got sent home at the end of the first show) two hundred fucking pounders.

 

And these broads are something else... Oh my God...

 

more_to_love_luke_conley_foxMost of them admit that this is their first time ever talking to a guy, let alone doing so in front of millions (... and millions) of Americans.  The ones remaining (who have been on a date before) are doing nothing for the "Fat Girl Stereotype" (The "Fat Girl Stereotype" is that fat girls will try harder [thus putting out faster], hence making them an easy target for hard on their luck fellows and for some reason baseball players who are just not clicking at the plate...), trying too hard- ending up looking like an pack of over stimulated land monsters.

 

All of these broads have gutter low self esteems, having been rejected thier entire lives by a society that has the audacity to value women who keep themselves in some sort of shape (and no, bowling pin, pear, and spherical are not considered keeping in 'shape').  That gutter low self esteem in going to be the key to the success of this show, as these losers in life are finally getting a chance to win in "love".

 

Now I am sure you are asking yourself "Gee, asshole... why ever would I want to watch a show about needy fat women trying to get the attention of some chubby chasing zilch???"

 

Well my friends let me tell you why...

 

First of all you have the pleasure of watching the fat girl food tango (a personal favorite of mine).  It is when you watch a fat girl tell you that she is not hungry/on a diet/not interested in food, only to watch her then sneakily snag the food stuff and jam it into her gullet.

 


Then there is Fshow-shotat girl flirtation, which is always a treat as fat girls don't have all that much experience in the whole dating thing thus making them not so good at actually flirting.  Most of them look kind of shocked that someone is actually talking to them.


But the most important ingredient is the massive amount of fat girl tears.


fat-chick-chickenFor some reason (and I understand how much of a prick it makes me admitting that I found this hysterical), the sight of love slipping through the chicken greased fingers of these curvaceous emotional train wrecks and the subsequent outburst just tickled my funny bone.


As stated before, the first show ended with the bachelor (a rather portly gentleman himself) having to pick the fifteen girls he was going to date from a pool of 20 total chicks.  The five girls not picked ended up bawling; a few of them professing feelings for a man they had spoken to for roughly a couple of minutes!





So in closing, make sure that your TiVo is set for this show next week.  This show will have my attention for at least a few weeks, and I know damn well if you catch next week's it will have yours too...

But then again, maybe it is just me...

 

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