ABC has announced the latest rooster for the coming tenth season of its mega reality hit Dancing with the Stars, set to start on March 22. Hyped as their biggest cast ever, the network cast its net far and wide to bring in the most interesting cast of celebrity would be dancers the show has ever produced. Join us as we take a look at the latest to try and win it all...
The Cast of
Dancing with the Stars
Buzz Aldrin (Paired with Ashley Costa)
-Former moonwalker has decided to add "Obligatory Old Guy" to his illustrative resume; has zero shot of winning
Pamela Anderson (Paired with Damian Whitwood)
- Former Baywatch and Playboy pin up. ABC's attempt to beef up anemic male viewer numbers for the show; Broads will take of this buxom Canuck early.
Erin Andrews (Paired with Maksim Chmerkowskiy)
- ESPN reporter and stalker victim; has a good chance of making a sympathy run so long as she has any sense of rhythm at all.
Shannen Doherty (Paired with Mark Ballas)
- 90210 and Charmed star comes out of obscurity; despite the good pairing with two time champion Ballas, stands little chance of winning.
Kate Gosselin (Paired with Tony Dovolani)
- The cunty Kate of Jon and Kate plus Eight fame is trying to salvage whatever is left of her fame for having crapped out a litter of kids; potential to get voted out first.
Evan Lysacek (Paired with Anna Trebunskaya)
-Olympic gold winning Mary who is going about it all wrong if this is how he is trying to convince us all that he in fact likes girls; your odds on favorite to win it all.
Niecy Nash (Paired with Louis Van Amstel)
Stereotypical lack lady cop from Reno 911! Being brought on show for comic relief; the comic relief never tends to fare well.
Chad Ochocinco Paired with Cheryl Burke)
- Casting football players works well for everyone, for the show and for the player... especially likable players; dark horse to compete for the final dance.
Jake Pavelka (Paired with Chelsie Hightower)
- Latest douche to ride the ABC reality turnstile; This is where all of the yentas at home get to voice their displeasure over his picking of two dollar whore Vienna.
Nicole Scherzinger Paired with Derek Hough)
- An attempt to give the show a youthful edge; sadly unless "pole" and "lap" are styles, this pussycat doll has no chance of winning it all (brrr... that phrase just gave me douche chills...).
Aiden Turner (Paired with Edyta Sliwiska)- Good looking soap opera star (All my children's Aiden, which conveniently airs on ABC... coincidence?!?!?!?!); Frumpy housewives have had the steamies for this guy for a while now. That should be enough to buy him a few weeks.