Mermaids bring construction to halt.

black-mermaidIf you have ever found yourself wondering why things in Africa never seem to advance beyond the initial starting line of “FUCKED”, then perhaps this story will help you sort it out in your mind.

See, once upon a time the nation of Zimbabwe was known throughout the continent as “The Bread Basket of Africa” and it could very well be again if not for the mischief of mermaids stalling the construction of not one but TWO very necessary reservoirs.

Mermaids, mythological half woman half fish creatures known for trying to seduce sailors with their siren song to drown to their doom, is said to be disturbing the construction of these structures.

zimbabwe_intro_mapIn a report to the Zimbabwean parliament, Samuel Sipepa Nkomo- the nation’s Water Resource Minister- claimed that the two public works had been halted due to sightings of mermaids around the structures. Because of those sightings, no one is working…

“All the officers I have sent have vowed not to go back there”, Minister Nkomo was reported as saying in Zimbabwe's state-approved Herald newspaper.

“… We even hired whites thinking that our boys did not want to work but they also returned saying they would not return to work there again,” he added.

He went on to allege that the workers would not return until a special magical “beer” to be drank while performing special “religious” rites in order to appease the agitated water sprits.

And you thought Triton would have freaked out when Ariel brought home Prince Eric…

Anyone else stunned by this revelation????

32800-hi-Ariel-Final

A country known for the removing of teenage girls' clit with spade shovels in order to not anger some heathen God is requiring the brewing of magic beer and ritual dancing to make the work projects go faster.

What’s next???
You gonna tell me the civil war in Darfur has been put on pause because the savages living in that god forsaken country have been distracted by claims that a leprechaun is hiding in a tree?

Not much being done to work against those stereotypes the Western World has on black people, is there...

But all kidding aside, the story doesn’t sound all that far out…

It is said that the ancient sailors would mistaken the gentle manatee for the mythical mermaids …

And manatees looking strikingly similar to fat white girls.

And black guys, as we all know, LOVE them some fat white girls...

mermaid

Needless to say, it was academic after that…

Lure these poor working bastards near deep water and they sink like an overly muscled stone. The bigger shock should be that the water is still potable after those non-swimmers erroneously decided the siren song of fat white girl cunny lead them to a watery grave...

As always, should anything else come up from this, we will let you know but, realistically, I doubt this will ever be mentioned again…

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