Solving the Sequester...

uncle-sam-suicideHere we are… Day 10 of our precious Government having it’s balls cut off by that god damned Sequester…

Oh the humanity… How will we ever survive this cold, hard winter with our precious Government being choked under the idea of living within its means… What godless, heartless cocksuckers we are for demanding such accountability from our elected officials.

Now, I understand that I might sound a little flippant about the whole matter… and in some ways I am, really… The idea of the Government spending less money (or, better 3.4.13-Obama-angry-yelling-600x398put, not being able to grow as quickly as the Masters of the Universe had dreamed of growing during fiscal year 2013) isn’t really all that awful an idea to me.

But I do know that there are people out there who are really being hurt by this purely political move by President Obama (and rest assured, that my belief in President Obama's cuntiness isn't what drives my claim that this whole mess rest solely at his feet. The Sequester was his idea and the cuts that he is being forced to stomach, he and only he gets to make… Not some nameless, formless leviathan that our brave and fearless advocate must raise his lance to combat… Barrack, himself) and it pains me that in this Nation where the Government raked in $2.7 TRILLION (a record, I might add… it’s the most ever raked in by Washington) in tax receipts for fiscal 2012… An especially impressive feat when you take that it was accomplished during a stagnating economy and record levels unemployment, I might add…), the people who have put their faith and belief in the promises of our Nation are being left out to hang in order for our ever campaigning Commander in Chief to try and rub his political enemies’ nose in a little more shit.

And it’s not right!


There must be something that can be done by this Congress and President to make this nut (because Allah forbid that our Government ever even let the idea of cutting the rate in growth… Not the actual size of the Government, mind you, but the 5-7% growth rate they automatically project for themselves year after fucking year) of Government double-fuckspending  even enter into the realm of tossed about ideas, but I digress…), and ever the problem solving appeasing little cunt that decades under the abusive thumb of my father  created me to be, here are a few common sense solutions that can help these bastards find their missing $90 BILLION a year. This alleviation should then allow our esteemed President and his lackeys in Congress stop pissing in one another’s boots and actually try and get some work done in some sort of interest of the people (good, bad, or otherwise… anything other than this “Oh no you didn’t" game these two sidces play with one another that has been getting us nowhere)…

Like, how’s about this innovation:

A Harvard professor has come up with a rather interesting and relatively pain-free way to keep this Government in Fat City without nary a child being starved or a brown skinned adversary blowed up real good…

Legalize it.

leafSpiegel claims that Harvard Economic Professor Jeffery Miron has discovered that instead of taxing the wealth out of every nook and cranny of this country or spending a penny less than they feel they are entitled to, the United States could easily come up with the $85-90 BILLION that our Fearless Leader, Barry O, has claimed we are unable to live without by simply ending the War on Drugs.

(He makes a real good case to back up his claim and is totally worth the read…)

Seems like a good idea, right? Tighten the belt of a Government agency that- with all due respect to the fine men and women of the DEA- has really done quite a shitty job in running this War on Drugs, create a new revenue stream for both the nation and the cash strapped states, AND toss a bone to a portion of Obama's constituency that he had been making feel neglected.

Or how’s about this novel idea to shake the shekels out of the couch cushion…

Stop subsidizing Wall Street to the tune of $83 BILLION this year alone (note: we are claiming an Apocalypse with cutting $44 BILLION this year, yet here we are sending money we don’t have to prop up failing mega-banks that just can’t seem to cover their losses what with all the bonuses  being handed out).

And- call me nuts if you like- if none of these other ideas seem to sound the salvation salvos, then perhaps there might not be something wrong with Washington simply spending less.

Not by cutting out programs that feed kids or help people who need it (though at some point a real close examination of those areas are going to have to happen, especially when as a nation we are spending a third of our nut on social welfare programs is just asking for trouble)… But by cutting out a shitload of the needless and stupid things that this increasingly arrogant Government is insisting on telling us that they just can’t seem to live without .

Like needless purchases during these woeful economic times, such as the $50 million being spent by the TSA to give their agents snazzy new uniforms (costing roughly $1000/ uniform) that are not even being manufactured domestically. Yet Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano has been making the rounds letting travelers that there will be longer lines at airports due to those damned Sequester Cuts that her Office must endure.

burning-moneyI mean, we did borrow $253.5 BILLION in the month of February (roughly $209 BILLION more than the $44 BILLION we are supposed to cut from the budget thanks to that world ending fucking Sequester that President Obama goon armed Congress into signing into Law) and there’s just something fucked about that…

But what do I know.


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