It is my greatest honor, as a writer, to put together five words that have never gone together before:
Ashton Kutcher said something right.
Mind blowing, ain't it. And what's more impressive is that he managed to do the impossible in 140 characters or less.
In what might be the greatest living example of that whole "Leave 1000 monkeys typing for 1000 years and they will eventually come up with Shakespeare" thing, Mr. Summer Breeze himself commented via Twitter on the sentencing of the two American journalist of twelve years in a North Korean prison.
"This should be a national crisis... We have to demand that something be done," twatted Kutcher, "I say its special ops time... If we can save that Captain (Capt. Richard Phillips) from (Somalian) pirates, we can save these journalist."
And as much as it pains me to say so, Kelso is one hundred percent right on this one. Granted, the two journalists (Laura Ling and Euna Lee) were trying to illegally sneak into North Korea (literally the worst place on fucking Earth), so one would not have to work too hard to sell the point that the dumb bitches might have had this coming. But whether they had it coming or not, they are citizens of the most powerful nation on Earth. That has to count for something right?
And what's worse is that they have been captured by the North Koreans. It's like having the retarded kid play keep-a-way with your lunch when you were in school.
Russia... China... I would understand allowing the diplomatic process to be exhausted before trying something a little rasher. But North Korea???
Ok, so maybe we don't go full Wrath of God on them and kill everything alive for a generation. But a Strike Force and maybe a few strategic airstrikes can't be worked out? It's not like that whack job Kim Jong Il has not had a good ol' fashioned bitch slapping coming for a few years now.