Satan caused Haitian earthquake!!!

Pat RobertsonLeave it to Pat Robertson to turn a perfectly nice international tragedy into something crazy and cheap…

Just hours after the first images of a devastated Haiti started coming across our television screen, Pat Robertson went on his own show and had some pretty profound and, truthfully, flipping hysterical comments as to why Haiti has suffered so. Let’s go to the tape…

Haiti had it coming because of a two hundred year old pact with Satan…  Right…

Look, I have a grandfather who is building a UFO in his garage so I know a thing or two about what might be going on here. 

crazy ol' Pat RobertsonSee that twinkle in his black and Jew hating eye??? 

That’s not the glow of a tyrannical megalomaniac with messianic tendencies or the glint found in the eyes of all artful dodgers out there when they are hot on the scam. 

That’s the lifeless glaze that only the twilight of oblivian can bring. 

To put it more bluntly, Pat Robertson is going senile and we all get to  enjoy it (in a manner of speaking)...

Rational, sane people are perfectly well aware of the fact that cities are not leveled by massive earthquakes because of ancient pacts with Satan coming due. That’s the kind of nonsense that old men talk about in nursing homes to whoever will listen.

Haiti: the aftermath

So before we all go nuts and start demanding that some crazy old fart say he is sorry for claiming that Haiti had it coming because of a deal with the Devil or that for ungodly reason any nation (even one as completely fucked up as Haiti) might be better off after being struck by a 7.1 earthquake, let's remember that no one(except thoe few likeminded whackadoodle Born Agains that we as a Nation have already deemed a little out there) is really paying that much attention to him (kind of like this website).     .

Abe SimpsonDo like I did when my grandfather told me he had started constructing an exercise bicycle with a corkscrewing dildo for a seat that he intended to market to the exercise conscious on the go homosexuals out there who just don’t have the time to masturbate and get in their daily work out…  Just smile.

You don't get angry at people losing thier grip on reality... you feel sorry for them.

Besides… just look at the fucking guy… he’ll be dead by next Tuesday…


(All that being said, and I am well aware how totally politically incorrect this might be to feel- let alone say- but maybe the old fucker’s got a point. As improbable as it might be to think that maybe Haiti did make a pact with the Devil, can you think of a time when it has ever been good to be in Haiti???)


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