Awww... what a sweet birthday present for me...
On April 1st, a Conficter Internet Worm is expected to "activate" (much like a time bomb) inside the computers of millions and millions of people worldwide and be sent off to the interweb to get its new marching orders, or so warns Graham Cluely, of the British security firm Sophos.
Of course, he tried to downplay the threat, claiming that no one really knows what the worm virus is going to do once activated, and that the only thing we know for sure is that on April 1st, the worm is going to begin searching the internet for a wider range of instructions. And I am sure the instructions it finds will be benign. Not end of the world stuff... nooo. Hackers are known for their desire to only spread kindness and warmth throughout humanity... not cause mayhem and disorder.
A worst case scenario pained by Sophos had the millions of computers all at once going to find their new marching orders. These computers will then be told to flood the internet with millions of spam emails, clogging inboxes the world over with Viagra offers and ads for websites where you can watch a blonde blow a goat and pills that will make your penis triple in size. These email attacks will bring the internet to a crippling halt, freezing international commerce and giving blue balls to millions of westerners unable to find sexual satisfaction without watching a few links on Eskimotube or something.
Ed Gibson, Microsoft's chief security advisor, has pretty much blown the whole thing off, saying that April 1st is a common date for someone to claim that there is going to be some twisted worldwide practical joke and that he would not be too shocked if this April 1st is not unlike every other day.
Of course, if when April 1st comes around and the world is brought to its knees because some quote unquote harmless little worm virus unleashed a fire sale of global proportions, shattering global infrastructure and putting an end to life as modern humyns have come to understand it, let those of us still roaming about make sure that we eat Mr. Gibson first in our de-evolutionary tailspin.
The Humungus has spoken...