This year, please remember to celebrate this Christmas as though it were the last Christmas...Because if certain Grinchy people out there have things their way, there may not be too many Christmases left.
According to the UK Telegraph:
Researchers at Simon Fraser University in Canada, found non-Christians feel less self-assured and have fewer positive feelings if a Christmas tree was in the room.
The scientists conducted the study using 77 Christians and 57 non-believers, including Buddhists and Sikhs.
The participants did not know the survey was about Christmas, and were asked to fill in questions about themselves both when a 12-inch Christmas tree was in the room and when it was not.
"Non-celebrators" reported fewer positive feelings and less self-assurance in the Christmas room. Christians were mostly cheered by the tree.
The solution- according to the study- is a simple one...
TONE IT DOWN.
We wish you a Happy Holiday...
"... I understand why it might feel threatening to people..."
That was the conclusion - besides toning down the whole pomp and circumstance that surrounds the Christmas holiday throughout the Western World- that Michael Schmitt, the social psychologist behind the experiment, came up with.
Threatening to people???
A Christmas Tree???
Now, forgive me for being a rube, but what exactly is soooo freaking intimidating about fucking Christmas Tree...
Is it the Lights? The Ornaments??? The Universal feeling of goodwill and fellowship the Holiday season inspires in its supporters???
I have a different conclusion to this study.
What the study tells me is not that people are intimidated by the sight of a Christmas Tree but rather feel bad that their particular religious holiday are not as- I don't know- fun? Well Known?? Understood???
And the solution to this issue is not an outlawing of Christmas trees and decorations but rather a mass media blitz to promote your particular holiday.
Let’s face it... if there is one thing humans like to do is have a good time. We fucking love it. All we need is a reason to do so.
And holidays are as good a reason as any.
Don’t believe me???
It's entirely possible that more people go to Cinco de Mayo (a Mexican Holiday) parties and St. Patrick's Day parties (an Irish Holiday) than go to Fourth of July parties.
Think the same rules won't apply to religious holidays?
Who wouldn't like to toss back a few brews with our Jewish brothers for Hanukah? Or share some wine with the Wiccan broads on the Solstice?
So please friends, don't leave any Christmas cheer in the locker room... Leave it all under the tree this year. Sing carols till your throat gives out. Eat until you get sick. Drink so much egg nog that you puke.
Because there will come a day (no might about it) where celebrating Christmas will be wrong.
And for those of you out there who really are intimidated by "...The Most Wonderful Time of the Year..." here's a little ditty for you to smolder about...