The last Vietnam-era draftee retires from the military. He finally tired of being spit on.
New study claims that Fourth of July parades indoctrinate children into the Republican Party. If Democrats began conducting Labor Day parades, would they have the opposite effect?
Transformers 3 rakes in $372 million its opening weekend and nabs title of 3rd highest-earning worldwide film debut. If you stop watching them, Hollywood will stop making them. It’s up to you, people.
Motorcyclist wipes out and dies during ride protesting NY helmet law. He was also spearheading a write-in campaign against irony.
Autopsy reveals heart attack killed Macho Man Randy Savage before his car crashed. Could a lifetime of free beef jerky cause heart disease? Ooooohhh YEEAAHHH!!!
Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo will air their impending nuptials on television. Look what you’ve done, Wills and Kate. You’ve convinced Z-list “celebrities” that people want to see them get hitched. Viewers have to bear witness to their own doomed marriages; like they want to see the 98 Degrees guy’s 2nd or 3rd?
UK newspaper The Guardian publishes article entitled “Dominique Strauss-Kahn case shakes France's macho culture”. France has a macho culture? Do they know that they dress like America’s gays?
At Bristol Palin’s book-signing events, fans discover that they have to buy Bristol’s book in order to get Sarah’s autograph. I don’t like to jump on the Sarah Palin-bashing bandwagon (because it’s too in vogue and too easy) but I’ll be blunt: If you desire her signature, then shelling out $25.99 for her 20-year-old daughter’s “memoir” is a fitting punishment.
Crazed man accosts OctoMom at celebrity boxing event by hugging her, proposing marriage and screaming “I’m a Paul Heyman guy!” You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And I wish he had been the one to accost the OctoMom.
Hey, Colt Cabana! How ya doin?
Casey Anthony trial drags on. God, I wish this chick wasn’t hot; then we’d never have to hear this fucking story.