The Weekly Constitutional endorses...

election2012Tuesday, my home state of Florida gets to cast their vote towards who they feel should be representing the Republican Party in the 2012 Presidential election.

This is usually a frightening prospect as the combination of elderly, madness born of meth and pill use, brains damaged to the point of malfunction due to years of inhuman humidity and heat slow broiling them, and generations of institutional dumbing down has turned Florida into a carnival midway of sorts capable of producing any and all results capable of being imagined (consider it a quantum computer of fuck up).

Obama-smug-head-photoGiven the increasingly palpable desire of the American people to give ANYONE other than Barry "Let's pretend I haven't been running things for the past four years" Obama another four years to try and right the ship, it’s been the opinion of many that this Republican candidate would very realistically become the 43rd president of the United States.

Making the endorsement of a candidate such a huge deal...

And it is with that in mind that I put my mind towards figuring out which candidate to hang my hat upon...

 

There can be only one...

img_606X341_3112-USA-Republican-PRESIDENTIAL-CANDIDATES

I do not come upon this selection easily, nor do I with a light heart.

I do so holding my nose...

I do so turning face on conviction.

I do so purely out of hate and anger.

I am doing so because while I do love my country very much, I really do HATE the centralized, State focused, “Fascist lite” nation that America has become...

I know that only one candidate on that ballot is holds this same fear for the future of our nation and is sworn to keep that from happening…

011612ronpaul

Ron Paul.

But sadly, Uncle Ron's supporters- whom I might add have a true devotion to the man that really should warrant a more objective judgment than our admittedly superficial and somewhat counterproductive method we have been using for decades now- seem to want the man in charge more than he does (in both Florida debates he admitted he was a long shot and would not be running third party).

So while my heart wants Paul, to vote for him- even if to be nothing more than expressing disdain for the remaining filled suits- is an act of selfish tantrum as this year, more than ever, a move needs to be made to slow (if not out and out stop) the growth of Government which WILL NOT be accomplished by tossing a vote in the trash heap of conviction.

That leaves us with Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich...

A real murderer’s row of excitement if you ask me...

mitt_romney_AP120110126758_fullwidth_620x350Romney, the candidate no one wanted four years ago and no one wants now (notice, he never really pulls more than 35-40 percent of his base, the other 60 or so percent going anywhere but but the Republican Establishment (who seems to be more concerned with maintaining control of the money than in making any real changes to the size and scope of the Federal Government) seems to have a real hard on for...

Santorum, a stuffy, unlikable man whom just can’t seem to make any sort lasting connection with the public at large long enough for some of his more salient thoughts on things like the economy and overexpansion of the Federal Government to resonate…

And Newt, a pussy obsessed Washington insider with a mountain of skeletons in his closet and ZERO support from the “Inside the Beltway” crowd.

newt-starBut Newt's also an idea guy, something I feel this nation has needed for quite a while.

So, in the interest of keeping the Republican vetting process going for another few weeks and to stick it to the Party establishment that seems determined to make us take Romney, The Weekly Constitutional would like to formally endorse Newt Gingrich in the Florida Republican primary.

I must be shared...

I wish I had better reasons than the ones I do for selecting Gingrich, but I don't...

Policy wise, there isn't much difference between the two front runners (Gingrich and Romney); leaving their personalities and other intangibles to differentiate between the two (Santorum and Paul are not viable candidates as far as I am concerned)...

They both are vowing to shrink government (though I fairness, I do believe Newt when he says it…), dismantle Obamacare, and bomb the shit out of Iran (cause, using the WWII example, nothing helps a stagnant economy quite like a ground war).

Their only differences are in themselves as a person.

And while I am sure all of these men have certain aspects of themselves that would make them ideal presidents, I feel that Newt’s shortcomings might be the key to our national success…

newt-gingrich-open-marriage2a

Sure, a lot of Moral Voters want to hold the Republican Candidate to a higher than average standard (which makes this a hard choice to make as Romney is a heathen Mormon), making Newt’s penchant for the stink a bit of a dilemma.

But it need not be…

In fact I feel it should be a requirement to hold the job…

Kennedy was a known pussy hound…

Reagan, pussy hound…

Clinton, legendary pussy hound…

And all three of those men were good Presidents for the country.

Transversely, I imagine Jimmy Carter treated Rosalynn like gold.

Both Dubya and HW Bush seemed very beholden to their wives.

And of all the negative things you could say about President Obama today, bad husband isn’t on that list.

Those were four fine family men…

Shit presidents, no doubt… but fine, fine men…

See a connection?

It’s as though there is almost a direct link between the obsession these men have with stink and their ability to effectively govern our great nation…

Maybe it’s the ego not allowing them to go too far off into the madness of partisan politics lest they hurt their ability to score hot willing trim…

Maybe it’s the subconscious desire to be loves that keeps them moderate, wary to never strike anyone as either too hot or too cold…

Or maybe, just maybe, they need things running smoothly to keep their dance card full and the public too fat and happy to give a shit about it.

Whatever it is, during their tenures our nation had its salad days and perhaps the election of Mr. Newt will have a similar effect.

So Floridians (and the rest of you Americans yet to be heard), for the good of the nation…

newt-2012

Two in the pink and one (vote) for Gingrich…

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