Drew Peterson, the former police sergeant-turned-tabloid whore, was indicted Thursday for allegedly drowning his third wife in a bathtub in 2004. He had originally found fame after the mysterious disappearance of his fourth wife a year and a half ago.
Kathleen Savio was found dead in her empty bathtub four years ago, a nasty head wound staining her hair a crimson red. The police ruled her death an accidental drowning until they realized she was married to a guy named Peterson.
As he was being escorted in handcuffs into the station, the witty Peterson quipped "I guess I should have returned those library books". Because nothing makes you look more innocent than wisecracks after you've been arrested for your wife's murder.
What most likely clued the cops in that Savio may have been murdered was the sudden disappearance of Peterson's latest wife, daddy-issues-laden 23 year old Stacy Peterson. He had the cajones to claim she had just up and left him, even appearing in magazines and on talk shows to yak up his bad luck with living ladies. He knew the news media couldn't resist his story because it involved missing middle class white women.
His publicist claims that Peterson is mulling a job offer from the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the Nevada brothel featured in the HBO "documentary series"/soft porn show Cathouse. However, an HBO spokeswoman stated that the series would be cancelled before Peterson would ever appear on it. You know how scummy you are when even hookers and porn providers look down on you. Not to insult the fine, upstanding citizens in the sex industry, though! Damn, I hope nobody in the biz reads this and gives out my credit card number....
Anyways, this would be a good opportunity for a crime/action TV show featuring Drew Peterson and Scott Peterson. Perhaps a spin-off of the A-Team, but this would be called the D-Bags. They go around marrying chicks and killing them, evading the cops and solving crimes. Except the crimes they themselves commit when they sadistically snuff out their spouses, of course. Also starring O.J. Simpson as O.J. Baracus.