The Marshall family has spent 40,000 pounds on a total of nine boob jobs.
That's right... nine trips under the knife for mother Chantal Marshall (50) and her four daughters: Emma (28), Terri (25), Tara (22), and Ripley (18).
As we know, this is the point in the article where the snarky blogger would say something crass about these wonderful women, possibly making disparaging assumptions as to the virtue of these women using thier bust size as the only validation to his claim. But that's not us...
We at the Weekly Constitutional would like to take this as an opportunity to personally thank Chantal Marshall for bothering to give a shit about her personal appearance (and for her daughters in honoring thier mother by learning the lessons she taught). Too often in our society, our parks and malls are littered with unsightly blobs of bonbons and unfulfilled dreams wrapped in sweatpants and awful Mommy clothes who long ago punted on keeping up with thier appearance, settling instead for a life of nagging and child proofing (hence some of the insanity that have become our social policies). Women like Chantal who bother to maintain thier look (be it by hard work or by using some of the divorce settlement money to buy aftermarket parts) are often portrayed as cougars- lonely depressed wretches who look to fill the loveless voids in thier hearts through heavy drinking and meaningless sex with younger men- instead of as the heroes that they really are!
Sure they are handing it out two at a time and in truth tend to be the butt of the jokes being whispered by the friends of the younger man she is kidding herself by hanging on... but they at least look good and remember what life was like before they crapped out a bunch of kids. And that is a world better than what the Oprah-fied clones of short haired scowling house frows have become. Stoned faced and joyless, they look to make the world one enormous bubble for thier precious little snow flake to wander around, despite the desire of the rest of us to enjoy those God given rights we hold so dear.
But I digress...
So let us honor Chantal Marshall, and her enormous 34 DD mounds of store bought wonder. It is women like her that make getting wasted in old people bars worthwhile.
(Now her daughters on the other hand... these broads stink of low self esteem and a pile of mommy and daddy issues. While this might not be the best thing if you were looking for one of these little strumpets as a bride, it does make for easy pickings if you happen to be out for cheap meaningless sex...)