Two Headed Baby born in Brazil...

2-headed-monsterA Brazilian woman gave birth to a baby with two heads last week, instead of the twins she had entered the hospital expecting to deliver.

Maria de Nazare gave birth via caesarean to a 9.9 pound two headed freak named Emanoel and Jesus in honor of the Christmas season the baby(s) were born in.

After a battery of tests, the Brazilian doctors (something tells me this is a real loose application of the word…) have that the baby(s) have two brains and spinal cords but only one heart, set of lungs, liver, and pelvis all but condemning one of the two heads to a short life.

two-headed-boy

Born on December 19th, 2011 to a 25 year old Brazilian from a rural part of the nation, the birth straight out of a Syfy films pitch meeting (It Had Two Heads… coming soon to SyFy…) came as a surprise to all involved; the two headed monster in her womb discovered only minutes before the woman gave birth.

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“When doctors scanned her they realized that the baby had two heads and that a normal birth would be a great risk both for mother and baby. The caesarean took an hour because the baby was sitting down,” states Claudionor Assis de Vasconelos, the hospital’s director, to Brazil’s O Povo newspaper.

“Despite all the problems we have as a small interior hospital we managed to save both mother and baby, which was our aim. And for us it was a great surprise to find out that the child was in really good health…”

The Wisdom of Soloman…

With the health of the mother under control, the focus now falls on which head will be the baby’s permanent head…

Neila Dahas, director of the Santa Casa hospital said: “If both their brains are functioning, how are we going to choose which head to remove? We are not considering the possibility of surgery. What we've got to think about at this moment is to maintain the children in good condition and see how they will develop.”

And as improbable as it is to imagine having birthed a freak baby, let alone having to care for it long term (by that I mean longer than it takes to snag up monster baby, put it in a burlap sack and toss it into the piranha infested Amazon for the good of Humanity…), the idea of having to select which head to keep (especially if both are, as Director Dahas has claimed, capable of working normally) seems nightmarish.

Especially with them being so young that one would have to guess at which one of the two is the evil head…

But it doesn’t have to be so…

wpf_two headed girlWho hasn’t become fascinated by the awe inspiring (and at times terrifying to look at) tale of Abigail and Brittany Hensel, the two headed girl daring to aspire to more than a life as a side show attraction (their various appearances on television are sure fire internet gold)…

Should these two boys receive proper care (not to mention a few extra graces from the same uncaring God that decided to make them a mutant), they are capable of living as normal a life as a two headed boy residing in a voodoo obsessed third world nation could aspire to have…

But then again, they do live in Brazil…

It’s just as likely that some ayahuasca chugging voodoo witch is going to take the birth of the “bundle of joy” as a sign from God that we are on the threshold of the “Great Alignment” and convinces a tribe of savages to jump off a cliff into the unforgiving Atlantic.

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