And we all thought the French were money hating Socialists...

2012-end-of-the-world-717716You have to give it up for humanity…

Even in the face of a global apocalypse, they are willing to be just bags of shit with one another…

Bugarach, a small quaint village tucked away in the foothills of the French Pyrenees Mountains with a microscopic population of some 170 Frenchmen, has been overrun by outlanders… And the locals are making a killing on the venture.

The town of little consequence is said to be the only place on the planet that will be spared on the rapidly approaching date of the 21st of December, 2012.

As we know (and are no doubt bored to tears over by this point),  the Mayan Calendar (and every single blessed carnie that George Noory interviews for three hours a night) is predicting that a planet or global alignment or something is going to bring all of Life on Earth to a scratching halt on that date. But just before that happens, according to the legions of hippies and new age freaks flocking to Bugarach, a gigantic spaceship (helmed by human loving ETs send here by the Federation of Love to whisk away a select few so as to repopulate the planet once all the death and destruction has settle) will pop out of it’s mountain hanger like the Millennium Falcon, pick up the true believers, and take them away to sing Kumbayah with their space brothers for all time.

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And of course, Humans- being the narcissists that we are- simply assume that by our showing up, the Space Brothers will just open the hatches and let any and all waiting into the Ark (never once thinking that perhaps the Space Brothers running such an elaborate rescue mission would have already made a select list of candidates- perhaps using those abductions we keep hearing so much about- and that by showing up to the mountain retreat, all you are doing is getting a better seat for the Apocalypse).

town

mapThis is where the price gouging people of Bugarach come in…

In response to the flood of rats trying desperately to bail this ship before it goes belly up, prices have sky rocketed…

Authentic rocks sell for £1.20/ gram…

Majik cure all water for £12…

Hotel rooms(and by “hotel” we mean rooms in random farm houses and cottages in the area) for a whooping  £1,200 a night… (With a more affordable 400 euro a night for a plot of land in some dingy cow field for the Doomsday worrywart on a budget [which to me sounds like someone is hedging their bets but who am I to judge]; the tent, by the way, is not included)…

“I possess a rare asset, the land of immortality,” stated one price gouging frog to La Depeche du Midi, the area's local newspaper, in an effort to justify the recent “gold rush” for tourism dollars in the French town.

And he is right…

He isn’t the carnie out spinning this line of shit… he just happens to be sitting around, with a few acres in what is apparently God’s Country (which suddenly answers all those nagging “Why does God kill babies” questions… because he is French and the French are notorious cunts), during a time when the whole western world is certain it’s all over but the dying on December 21st. So what if he gouges these gullible fucktards out of a few thousand euros while they learn a valuable lesson about who to trust…

Not like they weren’t going to give it to someone at some point (being that they are rubes and, as PT Barnum would mumble in his sleep, a Rube and his money are eventually parted). Better some working stiff who could use the shekels that some sleazy Sky Grifter (carnie talk for “Faith Con Men”), I say. 

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