Ask any stoner out there and they will tell you that Cheetos are the proverbial "manna from Heaven". But for some reason a Dallas couple believes that the crunchy cheese twists are not just the food of the Gods, but may also be his Earthly vessel.
Dan and Sara Bell claim that they have found Jesus... in a bag of gas station Cheetos.
The Dallas couple's claim is the latest in a long line of incidents that have the Jews waking up every morning happy that they are not into Jesus (remember last week that was the lady who found "G-O-D" in cuts of her cured meats and a few weeks ago a woman claimed to have found an image of the Virgin Mary on a pancake). Sara claims that she had bought the pack of Cheetos in a gas station while the couple was driving about. It was within that magic bag of Cheetos where the matriarch found a Cheetos she claims looks like a "Little playing Jesus". The couple, not doing anything to raise the suspicions that they might be rubes, state that the have nicknamed their cheese flavored corn puff Savior "Cheesus".
Blessed as they are to have rescued the crunchy Lord from his cellophane prison, the couple has decided that the Lord cannot spend the rest of his days in their care. Did they send him to lepers? To the Vatican? Did they decide to donate it to some starving hobo begging for change by the highway? Of course not!!! That does nothing for them.
What they have done is take Cheesus on a media tour and have begun selling him on EBay (for a starting bid of a quarter).
Dan Bell has claimed to CBS News 11, Dallas that should the Cheetos crunchity Son of Man not be sold to the highest bidder on the world wide web, then he himself will consume the (by then very stale) corn puff.