The continuing saga of lil' Alfie Patton...

 

Alfie Patton and Maisie StedmanPoor Alfie Patten.  A British court has pronounced Alfie, the world's youngest parent, as now the world's youngest cuckold.  DNA testing, following some rumors swirling around Alfie's hometown, has proven that 13 year old Alfie IS NOT the father of three month old Maisie Stedman.

Tyler Barker, 15Alfie and Chantelle, in happier times...Turns out that the baby's daddy is really Tyler Barker, a 15 year old who was rumored to have also been putting the stones to (apparently) town whore Chantelle Stedman (also 15), not the 13 year old Alfie as had originally been reported.  As you may recall, the world was shocked in February as word came out of England that a 13 year old boy and a 15 year old girl had become the proud parents of a little girl.  People began questioning what the world had come to as newspapers globally showed the prepubescent face of Patten looking upon his newly born daughter.  The boy had been lead to believe that he had knocked up Chantelle when the two had sex when Alfie was 12 years old.

For Alfie, this has to be great news, all be it bitter sweet.  Sure, he has been cleared of being the baby daddy at the age of twelve.  But at what cost?  The whole world now is in on his humiliation, as his little grrlfriend not only cheated on him, but was willing to let that poor 13 year old little bastard raise someone else's mistake.

Chantelle Stedman,15For Chantelle, it is not so good, as the world now knows that she is not some star crossed teenage mother as the media had originally painted her as, but rather a teenaged whore handing it out to every swinging dick in town.  Tyler, who reportedly had admitted to having had unprotected sex with Stedman and worrying that the lil' bundle inside of her whore belly, ends up coming up the worst in this situation, as Chantelle (as stupid as she may be) looked to a 13 year old child instead of him as a more suitable father for her bastard.

Ultimately, no one wins in this one.  You have three children in England who, like millions of unwed teenagers all over the world, were at some point the proud parents of a child.  Not to sound preachy or anything, but for Christ sake, there is plenty of time in life to ruin it with children.  Why in heaven's name would anyone want to start so freaking early?

 Wear your condoms kids... Wear your fucking condoms...

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