A giant blob of some sort of black oily biological matter has been found floating along in the Arctic Ocean. Now before you go mad, racing around the room waving your hands over head maniacally, wait... it actually gets scarier and worse.
Hunters out in the wilderness outside of Wainwright first noticed the strange oily mass last week floating along in the water. Since then the US Coast Guard and Alaskan State authorities have been monitoring the situation.
As of yet, no one has any idea as to exactly what this strange phenomenon is exactly, but Petty Officer First Class Terry Hasenaur did take the time to tell the Anchorage Daily News what the Coast Guard has discovered this "thing" not to be.
"It's certainly biological. It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter. It's definitely, by the smell and the makeup of it, it's some sort of naturally occurring organic or otherwise marine organism."
Reports claim that the blob is foul smelling and sticky, containing little hairs throughout. Sea birds and various forms of marine life have found themselves stuck in the sticky grasp of the yet to be identified blob.
While the US Coast Guard and the rest of the authorities looking into this matter might be hesitant to throw this thought out there, is there any doubt in anyone's mind that this strange discovery can be nothing more than some sort of alien life?
A black oozy blob is floating in the Arctic Ocean with little hairs that no one has ever seen before in their lives just shows up out of the clear blue and our "smarter that the room" intellectuals is trying to find an explanation other than alien, and we buy it?
It's eating sea fish and birds!!!
Do we only count it as an alien threat when it turns into the Cloverfield Monster and just pwns a major city?
God, ya know... sometimes scientists are fucking stupid...