Russians planning to divert asteroid...


I have said it once and I will say it again...


That being said, this story is kind of cool, despite the obvious apocalyptic concerns...

Breaking news from Mother Russia:

The Ruskies are planning to shot an asteroid off its path towards Earth.

RKA_LogoWednesday, Russia's Space Agency announced that they (the filthy Reds) may be sending a space ship into outer space to attempt to deflect an asteroid which might at some point strike the Earth's surface.

NASA has gone on records claiming that the likelihood of a surface strike by the 885 foot asteroid named Apophis is very slim if at all.  When the asteroid was first discovered in 2004, experts had hypothesized that there was a 1:37 shot of the asteroid striking earth in 2029 (effectively killing all life of the earth' surface) when the rock is expected to come within 18300 miles from the Earth.

(For the record, NASA gives Apophis a 1:250000 shot of striking earth in 2036 and a 1:330000 shot in 2068)

anatoly-perminovW445Russian space agency chief Anatoly Perminov told Golos  Rossil radio today of the Russian plans, stating that  they [the Russian space Agency] would be holding a meeting soon to discuss their various options.

"I don't remember exactly, but it seems to me it [the asteroid] could hit the Earth by 2032," Perminov said.  "People's lives are at stake. We should pay several hundred million dollars and build a system that would allow us to prevent a collision, rather than sit and wait for it to happen and kill hundreds of thousands of people."

don-yeomnsNASA's Don Yeomans, head of the Near-Earth Object Program, commented on the Russian plans stating that after much calculating by NASA's top scientists there "will almost certainly remove any possibility of an Earth collision [in 2036]."  He went on to say "While Apophis is almost certainly not a problem, I am encouraged that the Russian science community is willing to study the various deflection options that would be available in the event of a future Earth threatening encounter by an asteroid."

But of course we all know our government would never tell us if we were doomed in 2036 even if it was a stone cold lock that it was going to happen in order to keep the peace.

Perminov did not disclose any actual ideas that the Russian scientists may have as to how they would attempt to divert the space rock, but have gone on record claiming that nuclear weapons would not be involved in the plans.

Perminov also claimed that once the idea was fleshed out in Moscow, Mother Russia would reach out to NASA, the European Space armageddon-bruce-willisAgency, the Chinese Space Agency, as well as anyone else is willing to help out in the cause (read "kick up cash").

Now before we all start losing our minds over this whole "Asteroid hurling towards Earth and only the Russians can save us" thing, let us all remember that the people talking about blowing up an asteroid are the same people who in the old Cold War days sent many of their secret agents and soldiers o an early grave while trying to replicate the shit that they would see in the James Bond movies because they thought that they were real.  For all we know, those Red sons of bitches were on a vodka bender while watching an Armageddon/ Deep Impact double feature and decided that this would be their "Dare to be Great" moment.

Rocky-Bullwinkle-cn02Besides... these fuckers couldn't find a half retarded moose and hi flying squirrel lover.  Do you really think they are going to be able to hit the asteroid, let alone have accurate calculations as to the probability of the asteroid actually striking the Earth?