Might the robot sex of tomorrow be available today???

real_touch_540x360For years now I have been talking about the age of human-robot sexual liaisons.  I grew used to the odd looks and groans when the topic of personal fuck-bots would come up in conversation (in the interest of full disclosure, I usually brought up the topic of personal fuck-bots). I always knew deep in my perverted heart of hearts that the day would one day come where my faith in belie in science would bear out.  And today it has...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the real touch personal fuck-bot...

Claimed to have been designed by former NASA scientists (which, shockingly enough, I am not stunned to learn), the Real Touch Teledildonic Pleasure Device proclaims itself the first realistic sexual device intended to be used by men.

Roughly the size of a football, the Real touch is the world's first totally interactive device for men to use on themselves.  The premise is simple: a man inserts his member into the life like rubber hole.  Once inside, the man would begin watching a movie provided by the company (shot in the first person) while working his man.  Now here is where the science comes in...

realtouch-internalThe box o' twat, which is plugged into your laptop, reacts to instruction from a specially made movie using two life like rubber belts, heating pads, and a pump which sprays warmed lubricant in order to create a feeling as close to the real thing as humanly possible (if by "the real thing" one means sticking his dick into a plastic electrical device which contains a two belt sanders in order to get his jollies).

But why take my word for it... why not gets it straight from the horse's mouth...






Almost sounds like a Jigsaw Killer trap, doesn't it...

And what about the sales pitch...

"...It never gives you an attitude and always says yes..."

Now how about that for focused pitch work...

Never gives you attitude and always says yes... for the lonely man who doesn't have time for the dignity robbing two step we "flesh fuckers" have come to know as the "Dance of Seduction" necessary to get members of the opposite sex to sleep with them.

The Real Touch device comes in various models, fashioned after some of the biggest names in porno (both straight and gay) such as Bree Olson, Jenna Haze, and Lisa Ann, is available for the low, low cost of $199.99.

A Thought

For some reason, this thing oogs me out. 

robot-sexLike I said before, for years I have dreamed of a sex-bot. But in my mind I had imagined the whole "Sex-bot" thing being less, ya know, creepy... More like Bladerunner or Cherry 2000 and less like a fat sad sack sitting by his desk- surrounded in fast food wrappers- pants around his ankles.  His fat flipper arms working the Real Touch on his crotch like some city worker manning the jackhammer.  His mother (who our sad sack lives with) opening up the dishwasher the next morning, pushing aside the replica of Jenna Haze's twat to grab a glass for her morning OJ. 

fleshlightIn my mind, the idea of a sex bot sounded amazing; a cybernetic chick that lives in my closet that I powered on and pounded out whenever I got an itch that needed some scratching at a time when there was no living stink to be had.  And while I am sure the Real Touch is the first step in robotic sex evolution, at the end of the day it is just a two hundred dollar jumbo sized fleshlight (the pocket pussy in a flashlight casing...).

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