Last week, The Weekly Constitutional warned the world about the impending doom that awaits us once we allow robots on our fields of battle. But today, let us show you the brighter side of robots.
Everyone meet HRP-4C.
HRP-4C is a robot built by the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology (NIAIST) from Japan, and debuted Monday for the world to see. The robot (who from this point we shall refer to as HR) is 62 inches tall, weighs a whopping 95 pounds, walks, talks, and has an attractive life like face capable of smiling and other typical humyn facial gestures. The NIAIST debut the robot in preparation for her grand debut at a Tokyo fashion show next week.
HR is not yet ready for domestic chores (or to enslave mankind for that matter), but her humynoid construction, attractive Asian styled face, and the fact that her creators probably grew up reading magna comics and watching all sorts of mind rotting anime means that her usefulness in some things might not be all that far off.
That's right folks... you read it here first...
I am predicting that there will be sex-bots on the market within the next five years.
Just think... a world where a man can buy himself something that will cook, clean, have sex and will not fight, argue, or make you watch one episode of Jon & Kate plus Eight. That's right womyn... the humyn race will have finally evolved itself out of its final weakness.
Sure, there's gonna be that whole doomsday scenario where the robots self actualize and rise against their humyn masters, leading to a war for control of the Earth... but for some reason the idea of a sex-bot makes all that suffering seem worth it. And of course, until we perfect some sort of practical method for cloning, this evolutionary advancement would seem more like the end of our great species, thus leading man to still have a use for you whiney broads. But these all pale when placed before our species finally correcting that genetic error long plaguing mankind.
Of course, it does work both ways... and it is way easier to make a pole vibrate than to make something feel like a humyn being. And chicks have been more accustom to using mechanical devices for sexual pleasure (to the point of mainstream acceptance), while men who use inanimate objects to achieve sexual pleasure are portrayed as sexual deviants and perverts (and no agreement from me on this one.. anyone using the "Block-o-Twat" is a sick son of a bitch). And the stigma of sexual deviance would be enough to stall the advancement of the femyle sex-bots, as opposed to the ease man-bots will have in gaining access to the pop culture, which would allow womyn to replace men far easier (because again, it cooks, cleans, can probably be programmed to do minor household repairs, has sex only when sex is desired, and does not force them to watch the NFL, NBA, or those weird hunting shows the Vs. network plays during the day). Even reproduction would be easier to try to synthesis; being that humyn semen can be stored (and breeding man-slaves to replenish the supply) is an easier process than trying to replicate the womb in a laboratory.
Ya know, the more I think about it, the idea of having she-bots has gone from Shangri-La to something evil and dirty. Sex-bots are an abomination, and the brilliant men behind this experiment should (to loosely quote the great Jeff Goldbloom in Jurassic Park) spend less time high fiving because of what they can do and more time wondering if it is something that they should.