Ever since I was a young man, there has been a problem with Israel and Palestinians. Thirty six years of those two just going after one another like dogs, with the United States standing between the two sides holding the leash just keeping the two from going at one another.
My entire life they have been going at it, and my entire life our media has gone ape shit dreaming of the day that through our mere greatness, we can simply will what a grudge match as long as history hasn't been able to settle... Peace in Israel.
As we wade deep into Hurricane season, our minds (or at least mine does, as a resident of the Gulf a Coast) turn to being sure we are prepared for these devastating storms. We've all seen the devastation... The loss of life and ruination of property; living breathing nightmares flashing. Across our televisions in the wake of these true monsters. And In their wake, we always find ourselves in the aftermath of hurricanes asking just what we could have done to better warn the victims of these manifestations of God's wrath.
And thanks to the University of Illinois, a solution has finally been found...
Stop giving them girl names.
On its surface, it is easy to ignore the VA scandal, chalking it up as just another of the many recent scandals that Obama has found dangling off his neck during the floundering Second Term...
Do you smell what Kim Jong-Un is cooking? It’s probably human flesh because death-by-flamethrower is but one of many capital punishment techniques in the arsenal of the world’s premier diabetic despot. Not only that, North Korea’s Dear Leader is also preparing to temporarily replace lofty ambitions of nuclear missilesdecimating the American West Coast with missile dropkicks careening into the solar plexuses of baby oil-glazed gladiators.
Last weekend, we were all treated to a private conversation between the decrepit owner of the LA Clippers and his belly warmer, V Stiviano. It didn't take long for this bit of gossip to grow hair, President Obama starting the rock throwing with a few statements while on his Oriental Tour. It has since grown into an all out lynch mob, with the usual cast of characters all fighting to make their outrage heard. The reverends Jackson and Sharpton shows up, their weeping rent-a-mobs all demanding Justice. The TV talking heads are all prostrating themselves, seeing who can out outrage one another.