VS.- Arnold vs. Sly...

Sylvester-SchwarzeneggerThere is not a man alive who does not love a good action movie...

Larger than life heroes... maniacal villains... maybe a scene or two of decent T&A...

While Hollywood has always had its action movies (and its action stars), there really was no better era for the action movie than the 1980s.

In the 80s, there were tons of action heroes making films.  Willis, van Dam, Seagal...

And while these guys were all very good and made a ton of movies (and mountains of money to go with them), there really were no two bigger stars during the 80s and early 90s than Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone.

ramboBig, bad, and covered with bulging greased up muscles- these two guys had the world by the tail.  Every year, movie goers filed in by the droves to watch these two Hollywood stars punch, shoot, and blow up everything in their path.

And while both men were showered with riches and accolades never before seen, one question has always remains... who was the bigger star???

Is it Arnold, the walking, talking American dream??  Or is it Sly, a true Hollywood success story???

Why don't we see...




Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Sylvester Stallone
Very good for his age, but a pale shadow of the Adonis he once was.
BODY
So loaded with HGH that he actually looks just like his Rambo action figure from the 80's. 
Horrific yet somewhat endearing Austrian accent. 
DICTION 
A marble mouthed, unintelligible voice delivered in a stroke like cadence.
3 way tie between the T-800 (T1-3), Dutch (Predator), and Conan (the Conan franchise)
BEST CHARACTER(S)
Tie between John Rambo (Rambo series) and Rocky Balboa (the Rocky series).
Red Heat, Jingle all the Way, Batman & Robin
WORST MOVIE(S)
Oscar, Stop! Or my mom will shoot, and Cobra
"I'll be back."
NOTABLE QUOTE
Tie- "Yo Adrian!" and "Nothing's over!"
Any line in Conan the Barbarian.
NOTABLE UNITELLIGABLE QUOTE
When Mickey died in Rocky III.
Thulsa Doom, Bennet, Skynet, and the Predator.
GREATEST VICTORIES
Redneck cops, the Russians (twice), Mr. T, Ivan Drago, all of Southeast Asia.
Makes weird bug eyed face and screams.
POWER MOVE
Turns his hat backward.
Governator of California.
MORE THAN MUSCLES
Writes and/or directs a lot of his movies.
Red Sonja
CLOSEST THING TO A ROMANTIC COMEDY
Rhinestone

WINNER

LOSER

Wow... While heads above their competition, when compared to one another it is not even close.

predator1_4

WINNER!!!!!

As beloved as Sly's work has been throughout his career, he gets his track marked (due to steroid injections) ass gets kicked up and down Hollywood Blvd. by Arnold, 7-3.

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