This might be the worst thing I have ever said publicly, while not drunk and wearing pants. This is worse than when I asked a group of Boy Scouts if their Pack Leader had to keep a sign in his yard. Worse than when I asked the fat grrl when she was due as I touched her belly "to feel it kick". And yes, even worse than the time I laughed at a slump breaker I had over because I thought she looked like a manatee when she had her shirt off. Ready???
Rihanna might have had it coming.
That's right, you read it correctly. I, Thom Acee, being of sound mind believe that Rihanna might have very well been responsible for the can of whoop-ass that Chris Brown opened on her.
Now before you close out the window, please at least allow me a chance to explain what I mean. See, I have a good reason behind my opinion.
I am womyn, hear me roar!!!
Now do not misunderstand my meaning. I had a mother, and I assure you she raised me right. I know that you are never to raise a hand to a womyn, and the second that you do... no matter the reason... you are in the wrong. No matter what she did, no matter what she says; the second that a man strikes a womyn, he is wrong. End of story. So while I am telling you that I believe that Rihanna might have had it coming, understand that it does not mean that I thought Chris Brown had any right at all to strike her, let alone beat the dog piss out of her like he did. But just because Brown was wrong in the outcome, does not mean he has his reasons. And to be truthful, it might have been all her fault... or at least she would be equally as culpable.
From all the reports that we got about the fight between Rihanna and Chris Brown, it all started when Brown got a text message from a creeper he had. This pissed off Rihanna, and off they went. Brown is claiming that Rihanna threw the phone at him, hit him in the head, beat on him, and threw the keys to his rented Lamborghini out a window. As of this moment, Rihanna's camp has not disputed any of these allegations, though it should be noted that she may not have due to the pending criminal investigation. Also, it is important to point out that for his part, Brown as admitted that he did in fact kick the cute out the pop singer, and that he is currently seeking treatment for anger management.
What amazes me about this whole story is that is that as a society we actually expect that she would pull all of this and not get smacked around. Again, not saying that you should but as Chris Rock so perfectly said many years ago "I understand." And as this news is swirling around there, whispers speak of other incidents which may have also been caused by abuse (like remember when Rihanna wore that sparkly eye patch???). Reports of these two crazy love birds fighting constantly with each other are starting to pop up all over the internet, and both acknowledge that there might be some anger issues on both sides.
The situation between Rihanna and Chris Brown is something that is sadly becoming more common in our culture. There is this whole subset of womyn out there who know that a man can not hit them, and take every full advantage of that upper hand. Sometimes the chicks do it because they are too ignorant to understand common civility and other times it is because the grrl is too smart for her own good. But in both types, there is one common thread... They know that there is nothing the guy can do, so they push and push and push. And while usually this plays out on Cops or on Jerry Springer type shows as opposed to being the hot rumor at the Grammy's, the fact remains that it is a problem that has started to show up more and more often, and usually with results similar to this. Womyn gets her ass kicked; man gets carted off to jail. The only difference in this case and the millions of others like it is that it happened to occur to a pop singer at the hands of another pop singer.
So please, explain this to me. If a womyn is beating a man up, should he not have the right to defend himself?
Kitten has Claws...
I am sure countless excuses are going to be said for Rihanna's behavior. She was angry. She was hurt. She's a womyn. And while the excuses are there, it does not mean that she is innocent of any misdoings. I remember when text messages were starting to become all the rage; I was over at the house of a grrl I was seeing at the time. While she was taking a shower, her phone rang. I heard it and alerted her to the ringing and she asked me to answer it for her. I did and it turned out to be a text from some clown shoe named Mike, the dude she was going to let put stones to her after I was brought her back from the flick.
So much like Rihanna I caught my Sig-Ot red handed, creeper message in hand. Would that have given me the right to throw the phone at her? Or maybe throw her car keys into a gutter on my way out of her place? Of course I could have, but had I done such things, the state would have surely fitted me with jewelry and provided me a room in their five star hotels to reward me for my actions. So instead I put her phone down, opened the door a crack and told her that Mike wanted to know if they were still on for later on tonight (when she had told me she was going to her mom and dad's house for supper- hence the afternoon date) and that I was going to be going home. And I left. No drama. No passion play. No nothing. I simply turned on my heel and took off, never to be heard from again.
If I had been a chick though, that would have been the prime chance for me to key a car or smash some stuff or wait for the cheating other to get out into the bedroom and reign Hell upon them. I could have lived out every pop song that is on the radio (didn't Carrie Underwood just have a hit single out exacting her vengeance on a wandering lover by trashing his car?). Point is that guys react to things differently that grrls do, and that these reactions are completely cultural. Do you think that the Middle Eastern media would have the same type of spin on this story? Or would they be calling for Rihanna have her dome lopped off under the rights of an honor killing?
As a culture, we deem it acceptable for womyn to be irrational emotion wrecks- especially when things do not go their way- and as a culture we do not extend the same rights to a man.
Blah, Blah, Blah... Grrl Power
This is not a call to allow men to discipline their womyn, nor is it one for men to violent reactions to the emotional outbursts of a few immature womyn (though given the right situation, I feel almost any womyn capable of such outbursts). Rather, this is a note about a very public story with deep social meaning. Had Rihanna not reacted in her emotional and childish way, would any of this happened? Perhaps. But we can be sure that her antics did not ingratiate herself in the situation. Rather, they may very well have escalated an already volatile situation between two emotionally unstable individuals. Think of it like putting Pop Rocks in your mouth and them swigging a cold Coca-Cola. While it seemed like a good idea in the here and now, the stupidity and childishness of your actions will resound clearly as the officials have to explain to your family exactly why your head exploded.
The abuse of womyn is no laughing matter; despite how many times the joke about the womyn with two black eyes makes me laugh. But not every beaten womyn is the victim of a drunken loser using the sound of his fists to drown out the deafening quiet that is the failure in every aspect of his life. Sometimes, the abuse stems from heated situations agitated by two willing combatants.
We should remember that before we opt to crucify.