What the Hell Happened To Jessica Simpson???

Misha wanka miso, Banki man!!That’s Huttese for “Holy fat pig Batman!”Either Jessica Simpson is just going all in on has-been status, or Dom DeLuise is walking around hick town fairs in a Jessica Simpson skin suit.

Pictures surfaced recently of the once stunning singer/actress looking, well, stunning… only this time for different reasons.

Trading in her short shorts for high wasted soccer mom pants and her once coveted waistline for a fledgling bunt (belly +the “C” word), the celebrity was seen performing looking something like this: 

Gross right?And because nature is always striving for balance, enter Ashlee Simpson.

ashlee simpson after surgery

Once the ugly sister, the now rebuilt Simpson-Wentz posted this on her MySpace in regards to her sister’s new look:I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?

I seriously doubt it.

How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

Now can we focus on the things that really matter.

            - (Taken from her MySpace blog)

So I guess because Jessica is all fat and icky now, it is Ashlee’s job to be the dumb one.  Exactly what does Barrack Obama’s becoming President have to do with anyone looking at someone who is looking at a former sex symbol and saying “Wow… she really let herself go.”  It’s not like she is under scrutiny for shooting African American weiner down her gullet.  She is under scrutteny for shuttling Hohos down her Joker mouth.There is nothing wrong per say in how Jessica Simpson looks.  I would still put stones to it, hands down.  But she is a sex symbol and she looks average.  She is paid to look desirable, not like my mother.  And with her pop career going down the toilet (and her country music one following in suite), all she really has is her tits and ass and looking like a taller version of Danny DeVito in Batman Returns just isn’t going to cut it. 

The only good thing to come out of all of this is that somewhere Nick Lashey is laying next to some faceless hard bodied 20 year old laughing his ass off.



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