Lindsay speaks about her break-up...


Lindsay LohanHeartbreaking, humiliating, and devastating...

No... these are not the three words you would use to describe Lindsay Lohan's acting career.  These are the words that Lindsay herself has been using to describe the night that she and her former girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, broke up. 

That's right folks... the Lohan Pity Train has pulled away from Temper Tantrum Station and is pulling into Pity Parade Junction, as Lohan is opening her pie hole to talk to the press about the night she became straight again.

"It was the worst night of my life", claims Lohan, when referring to the night she was kicked out of the "I heart Ronson" party- being thrown by the Ronsons to celebrate the start of Charlotte's (Samantha's equally hideous twin sister) new clothing line.

But the young starlets had not it bottom just yet... no, not at all.  See things got worse for her.  I have no idea how it happened, but Sam Ronso looks like an uglier version of Boy GeorgeThe following morning, she arrived to her home (which she shares with Samantha) only to find the locks had all been changed and rumors of Samantha seeking a restraining order to keep Lindsay away from her.  Lohan even claims that as she was sent packing at the Ronson party, Nicole Richie walked past her and muttered "Ugh" in disgust (and there is nothing worse than being thought of as trash by Nicole Richie... she was hooked on heroin and is married to a Madden.  No amount of bleach will ever get her clean).

I, personally, am moved to tears.  I mean, this is the saddest thing I have ever heard.  Whacked out faux-dyke washed up actress got dumped by her troll girlfriend ... Cry me a fucking river sweetheart.

You're lucky you are not rotting in some dingy women's prison breaking rocks in the yard and letting the guards run a train on you so that they will protect you from the various chick gangs running around the slam. 

Lindsay should be on her knees thanking whatever higher power she adopted while in rehab that she had the good fortune to be the one pretty red headed girl born in this millennia.  If not for her being a Disney cute lil' kid, her dreams of acting would have died on the stripper pole she would have found herself dangling on night after night to support her bastard kid she had with the bouncer as well as her eight ball a day coke habit. 

How poetic... the Art and the Artist are one...Of course, Lindsay did offer us some parting words to better explain her pain and suffering...

"I'm a fucking 22 year old girl who's in love.  I felt like I was in Mean Girls but worse: Mean Girls was a movie.  I just really hurt."

It cuts like a knife, doesn't it?


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