Is Nicolas Cage an Immortal???

new-vampire-kissThere is one good thing about the collapsing American economy…

It certainly does encourage the kooks to really reach for the stars when dreaming up their get rich quick schemes…

Everyone, please say hello to Jack Mord.

Jack is an antique dealer coming out of Bristol, Tennessee who claims that he had found something that will forever change the way the world looks at Nicolas Cage…

Mainly, the fact that he is an immortal…


While pouring through an especially odd cache of Civil War era portraits, Mr. Mord found a particular interesting picture of a man who bears a striking resemblance to one Nicolas Cage.

nicolas_cage_vampire_bwThe picture claims that it is of a Confederate Lieutenant G.B. Smith taken in 1864 by Confederate photographer- a Lieutenant Robert Smith- while the two both happened to be at the Johnson’s Island Prison in Ohio.

While most of us would take the picture as a neat little coincidence… proof that Nicolas Cage’s dopple ganger was a Confederate soldier… Mort has his own feeling about the picture…

“Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of walking undead vampire, et cetera, who quickens/reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult or a talk show host….

… My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor ‘Nicolas Cage’ will “die”…but in reality, the undead vampire “Nicolas Cage” will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over. From time to time somebody might mention to him that he bears a slight resemblance to the young version of that dead American actor, whose name they can’t recall, but eventually, those occurrences will stop altogether.”

Because of the obvious world altering nature of the photograph, Mr. Mord needs to make sure that the world enjoys the picture, mainly by placing it up for auction (as September 16th, 2011 Mr. Mord claims to have some 78 legit offers for the photograph before he inexplicably yanked the photograph from the auction.

As of yet, there is no word as to why he pulled it off the market.

The Curious Case of Nicolas Coppola

I must say… The resemblance is just outstanding…


It really does look like a picture of Nicolas Cage.

And perhaps it really is…

But what kind of “him”… “Him” this southern queen pulled a nice picture of the man from one of his outstanding acting roles and plugged it into Photoshop, creating this over 100 year old “evidence” of Cage’s immortal secret, or “Him” Nic Cage really is an Immortal wandering through time one existence at a time (just like in Highlander).

Now, due to this wonderful (although at times a bit overactive due to the years of drug use leaving the hinges that hold it a bit loose and unruly) imagine the Good Lord saw fit to grant me with, it would have been an easy sell for this photo to try and convince me that Nic Cage is in fact some sort of wandering Immoral living on the life forces of poor victims… EASY.

I had been looking for decades for the reason behind the inexplicable career of Nicolas Cage and the blood sucking vampire doomed to eternally walk the Earth angle makes just as much sense to me as anything else people have claimed in the past.

But I just cannot get passed the unexplained removal of the photograph from the open market.

That one little fact makes this whole story smell like a load of horseshit.