Top Ten Biggest Entertainment Stories of 2009....

 

2009Every hack website out there does their own retrospective on just what they feel were the year's biggest news stories..And our hack website is no different.


So please to be enjoying our view of the Top Ten Biggest Entertainment Stories of 2009....


adam-lambert-on-stage10). The rise and (corporate) fall of Adam Lambert...


It's not a shock that this guy made it to the finals of American idol.  It's not even a shock that America voted the less talented easily forgotten other guy (Chris I believe his name was) over the flamboyant Lambert because of his presumed gayness..  What is a shock though is how since the competition Lambert has seemingly gone out of his way to sashay himself out of Mainstream Television through his uber homo actions. His making out with a male band mate and simulating oral sex with a male dancer during the Nov. 23rdAmerican Music Awards may have sealed his fate...


g-cvr-071231-david-letterman_h2(2)9). David letterman gets married and then admits cheating on his wife...


On March 23rd, David Letterman told his audience how he and his long time girlfriend, Regina Lasko, were married privately.  On October 1st, Letterman admitted to not only years of sleeping around with interns (he is rumored to having had a 'sex pad" above his New York studios), but also acknowledged his participation to stop a two million dollar attempt to blackmail him, showing the world just how to deal with negative news... Head on... (Tiger would do himself a world of good to learn this lesson from Dave.)


jessica_simpson28). The sad story of the 2009 version of Jessica Simpson...


Once America's (retarded) sweetheart, Jessica found 2009 to be a tough one.  Her acting career, dead.  Her singing career, all but (2009 found the once arena filling pop star singing low rate country music in county fairs and local Armory halls).  Her body is not what it once was.


But it was not until Tony Romo dumped her a few days before her birthday, followed by her precious little dog being killed (and presumably eaten) by a pack of coyotes that Jessica reportedly hit rock bottom, finding herself photographed on the covers of tabloids drunk and in tears.  Hopefully 2010 is a better year for Ms. Simpson...


patrick-swayze7). Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett, Brittany Murphy, and Ed McMahon... DEAD!!!!


2009 was a big year for celebrity death.  And while a few deaths (one in particular) will end up overshadowing the year, it is important that we take some time to reflect on the celebrities who died during this past year.  As of this writing, 66 celebrities met their respective makers in 2009... God speed to them all...


jon-kate-divorce06). Jon - Kate (+8)...

After years of being this cute little show only my sister watched and gave two shits about TLC's Jon and Kate- a show about a married couple coping with having 8 kids (six of them the same young age) under one roof exploded into the mainstream thanks to their very public and very bitter divorce "live" on television.  In the end, he is still a douche (who has to come up with 10 grrr a month in child support, I might add), she's a cunt (who is stuck with 8 annoying kids and every male in America hating her guts), and none of us really caring anymore.  Here's to these clowns disappearing in 2010...


kung-fu-actor-david-carradine-dead5). David Carradine dies jacking off...


It is bad when you die just as you are having a career resurgence.  It is worse when said death comes at your own hands.  But when you kill yourself in a Bangkok hotel room by accidentally hanging yourself while trying to perform autoerotic asphyxiation on yourself, then my friend, you truly have yourself a hell of a news story.


billymays4). Hi... Billy Mays here for death!!!


The Death heard around the infomercial world. When Billy Mays died, he may have taken the whole "As seen on TV" industry with him.  Combine that with the suddenness of the death, the rumors of drug abuse as a root cause, as well as the unexplainable popularity of this snake oil salesman and you have a story with burned white hot on the internet for days and spawned thousands of Halloween costumes...


taylor-swift-kanye-west-vmas3). Kanye makes a white girl cry...


During the September 13thMtv Video Music Awards, (yea, I know... when exactly did Mtv start playing music videos again.... I thought they had gone to an all Guido or all pregnant girl formats, depending on the day...)a visibly drunk Kanye West stormed the stage during Taylor swift's acceptance of the Best female Video of the year award, claiming that Beyonce's "Single Ladies" should have been the winner (for the record, Kanye  was right).  The act spawned a Facebook application, a new douchie term ("being Kanyed", or being interrupted/ embarrassed by a jerk making it all about him), and even the President of the United States calling West a 'jackass".


tigerwoods12). Tiger Woods and His many women....


Once thought to be more machine than man, Tiger seemed to have gone out of his way this fall to show us all just how human he is.  First he got his ass kicked by his wife after she discovered that he had been screwing around on her.  Then no less than fourteen floozies came out of the woodwork, all claiming to have had long term relationships with Tiger.  As of last reports, Tiger's wife Elin is filing for a divorce, taking the kids to Sweden, and Tiger taking some time off from golf.  Oh how the mighty do fall....


michael-jackson1). Michael Jackson... dead at 50.


With all the pomp and pageantry of the death of circus royalty, the world spent a good two weeks this summer mourning the loss of pop superstar Michael Jackson.  Having become the punch line for tasteless jokes for years due to his strange behavior around children and apparent addiction to plastic surgery, it took his death to remind the world just how much his music meant to us.


Granted, it also took his death for us to see the dark side to being beloved.  The paranoia, the drug addictions, and the legions of yes men who only live to keep you alive long enough to pay them on Friday.  The true tragedy of his death is that no one cared enough for the man to help him while he was alive, but everyone is rushing to his side after he dies (especially if there is a comeback tour in it for them if they do... ahem Jackson 4....)


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