Growing up, who among us didn't have that yearning to dabble in a little watercolor when watching some of the cartoons we grew up watching in the mid 80s. buxom, aggressive, and always exhibiting a raw sexuality that even a six year old confused by the stirring in his dungarees cold comprehend, these "women" were my fantasies before I had any idea what those fantasies were.
They are the women of my childhood... the first sexual images I was able to not only process but act on. (I specifically remember carrying a rather uncomfortable torch for Cheetara). And I present them to you, the animated ladies I loved...
(And yes I am well aware I found dolled up pictures of them... I did it intentionally... so I would feel less like a deviant freak pervert...)
Top Ten Animated Broads
10). Jessica Rabbit-
Holds the designation as being the only one on the list I ever made knuckle children thinking about. Yet despite that honor, it is pretty cliché to put her on this kind of a list. But due to past history between her and I, she gets the low spot on the list.
9). Jessie from Team Rocket- Pokémon
Purple hair, nice rack, a desire to "catch 'em all", and a weird quazi-sexual relationship with her brother makes her the Angelina Jolie of Toon Town.
8). Cleo- Heathcliff
You have to give it to a chick who knows how to run with a rough crowd. Her soft eyes, nice cat boobs, 80's style leg warmers, and hourglass shape all aided her in making sure that she kept Riffraff, leader of the Catillac Cats, in line. While not the only non-human on this list, she is the only animal.
Prince Adam gained a little sister when Hasbro realized they were missing an entire market of action figure players and immediately demanded a new cartoon that chicks could get into. Sadly for Hasbro, chicks never got into She-Ra... But I did. Blonde and busty, She-Ra was a stereotypical hottie end of story.
6). Cheetara, Thundercats
Heaving chest, abs of steel, and knew her way around a pole. Need I say more???
5). Jem, Jem and the Holograms
Fashion designer by day, crime fighting punk rock icon by night. Bonus with Jem is that there seemed to be this weird thing between her and this very rough looking leather bound bull dyke pun band that was obsessed with her.
4). Ariel, The Little Mermaid
The flowing red hair, eagerness to please brought about by an overbearing father, and the fact that she didn't say a word for half the movie makes her damn near perfect.
3). Lady Jaye, G.I. Joe
While everyone else in my clique was all about that prude Scarlett, it was Lady Jaye who was inspiring me to be all I could be.
2). Teela, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
In Eternia, there was only room for one hot chick in the original Masters, and it was all about Teela. Sweet, sweet Teela- the daughter of Man-at-Arms- was as known for her skills with a bo as she was for wearing a bronze thong into battle. She also has thighs that could crack a man like a walnut.
1). Aeon Flux
She wore next to nothing, never said a word, was into chicks, and killed everything she couldn't fuck (those things she could fuck she would kill afterwards). In a word: Perfection.