Funny thing is, this is not a drug that you smoke, drink, eat, or snort…
This is a drug that you listen to…
For years, nosy parents would go through their sons and daughters music collections looking for the obvious signs of drug use (it is a well known parental fact that finding Phish in a CD collection means that there is most likely pot in the sock drawer).
Well reports out of Oklahoma are claiming that parents might want to start looking at the songs their kids listen to order to find the drugs themselves…
It’s called “I-Dosing”, and according to the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs, it is a cause for great concern.
“Kids are going to flock to these sites just to see what it is about and it can lead them to other places,” Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs spokesman Mark Woodward told Oklahoma’s News 9.
I-dosing involves donning headphones and listening to “music” — largely a droning noise — which the sites peddling the sounds promise will get you high. Teens are listening to such tracks as “Gates of Hades,” which is available on YouTube gratis (yes, the first one is always free).
Those who want to get addicted to the “drugs” can purchase tracks that will purportedly bring about the same effects of marijuana, cocaine, opium and peyote. While street drugs rarely come with instruction manuals, potential digital drug users are advised to buy a 40-page guide so that they learn how to properly get high on MP3s.
What the fuck???
Really? Getting high to music?
Getting high and making music… sure… getting high while listening to music.. Now you’re talkin’… but listening to a “song in order to get high???
This seemed a little bit much for me.
So, being that I am very curious and as The Weekly constitutional’s resident drug czar it is kind of my responsibility, I decided to give this new “drug “ a shot.
I followed the direction for getting “high” I-Dosing that I found online and popped “Gates of Hades’ onto my ipod. I layed down in my bed, turned the volume up to the appropriate levels and dropped out.
The “song”- if you must call it that- is essentially white noise for the first half, followed by a shrill high pitch noise that gradually decreases in pitch until the end of the song.
I found the rhythmic nature of the song to be kind of hypnotic, kind of like a good trance song could, but did not find anything “high inducing” about the “song”.
It did, however, give me a slight headache and a touch of tinnitus in my ears.
Knights In Satan’s Service
This whole story reminds me of that whole “Satanic messages buried in Heavy Metal songs caused my son to kill himself and/or someone else” crusade bored Midwest housewives got behind during the mid 1980’s (that, by the way, turned out to be a load of horseshit).
But what if there is something going on with this whole mess…
Somewhere deep inside of me there is a tin foil hat wearing militia member that will not let me sleep if I don’t offer this as an explanation:
What if the “high” sensation these kids are feeling is not some lame side effect to the placebo of wanting this to get you high (ya know, like how smoking a joint of rolled oregano or cat nip would make you feel “high” or drinking three or four near-beers without knowing might make you think you are “drunk”) but rather the faint afterglow of hypnotic rest brought about by a hidden Manchurian Candidate style message embedded in the noises.
These noises eventually would begin to release instructions within them, most likely placed there by one of those New World Order globalists groups (say the Illuminati), forcing a zombified through hypnosis teenage army of “mindless” drones willing to do their every bidding to play out their world dominating “End Game”.
Either way- be it a globalist plot to rule the world or just another stupid urban legend that will ultimately cause a few brainless losers to lose their hearing- to refer to this trend of “I-dosing” as anything other than complete and utter BULLSHIT is just insulting.