Thom Acee passes a piss test...

smoke-a-jointLast week, we happily reported that 50% of Americans favor the legalization of marijuana.

While it is undeniable that the attitudes of the people are shifting when it comes to marijuana, the same could not be said for nation’s employers…

It doesn't take hearing some entitled unwashed hippie screaming and yelling (in between drum circles maaaaaaan because the drums keep the soul centered...) about the difficulties of the job market to know that it is pretty rough out there, especially for a pothead…

And potheads need jobs too!

But there is a real fear for every burner out there pounding pavement in order to make ends meet…

“All we need now is a drug test…”

pizssing-potheadSeven little words that, when strung in at the end of even the most out of this world interview, can leave even the most qualified of candidates sweating through their clothes with worry.

Now there are dozens of products out there- from the simple enough "drink it an hour before" cocktail of test masking agents and an insane amount of vitamins and dietary supplements guaranteed (or else they will give you your money back) to make you test clear to those elaborate rubber dick/ frozen urine systems you see advertised for in the back of the High Times...

And it’s been my experience that (for the most part) these products do exactly what they tell you they will.

Sadly though, they aren’t cheap... most coming in at 50 bucks for an entry level product (and heavy users should just go ahead and drop down the hundred as the extra strength flavors cost more). And for the unemployed, fifty bucks may as well be a million.

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Clean urine…

There had to be a way to get someone’s urine clean without spending too much money on the project, I was sure of it.

Of course, the most effective and sure fire way to always test clean is to just not do it. People who don’t smoke pot never realty seem to be drug-freeworried about passing drug tests, so there must be something to that theory.   But to believe that in an America looking less and less like Rockwell’s vision and more and more like the one depicted in The Road, that there are people capable of not desperately searching out some way to find peace and calm for at least a few minutes in their day seems impossible to me.

So another, more practical solution had to be found…

I spent a few hours doing some research on the matter and came up with a few different “old hippie tales” on how to get the urine clear.

Eager to find out which one would work out the best, I ordered a few test strips off of eBay and (once they obama-bush-clinton-marijuana-smokersarrived in a timely manner) began the long and arduous process of making sure that I would not be able to pass a test.

I know… I know… I give too much to you, my eager readers…

But it is not for you, my friends, that I take such risks… (Not solely anyways…)

But it is for the name of Science…

*** While I am presenting the honest results of an experiment conducted over the course of a month, I am in no way guaranteeing these results. Guarantees are for those fifty dollar products that everyone knows works… this is shit you can do in your kitchen for fewer than ten bucks. Follow this advice at your own risk.***

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